Sober Coaching Your Teen

Yahoo! We launched the updated website for parents of teens in trouble with drugs. It's user-friendly,  has free downloads, gives parents basic info and of course talks about our parental workbook. Please pass on info to any parents you know who might benefit! Thanks (oh and tell me if you like the site--I am pretty proud of my newly-learned website revamping skills!)

Sober Coaching Your Teen: "How will our workbook help you deal with your teen? Of course we want our children to stop drinking and abusing drugs. The Sober Coaching You Teen workbook will jump-start the process with research-based interventions using the Teaching-Family Model principles of developing empathy, boundaries, taking responsibility, and recognizing thinking errors. "

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Are parents the cause of addiction?

Parents are not the cause of addiction. No matter how much influence parents believe they have over a child, the reality is, parents will only influence approximately 25% of what a child will do. Nevertheless, as I work in the field of adolescent substance abuse, I find many parents believing they are the source of their child’s addiction. Maybe this is because; society expects parents to have control over their child. For example, when a child is running wild in the grocery store, don’t we all whisper to ourselves “They need to get control of their child?” So when a teenager is drinking or doing drugs, of course the blame will fall back on the parents.

However, when it comes to addiction, I can tell you from a professional background and a personal background that parents do not create or reinforce addiction. I was brought up in a warm loving family, where my parents helped when needed but also let life teach when needed.
But at the age of fourteen I drank and smoked weed for the first time and the rest is history. I continued to use substances up until the age of 22. I eventually experienced so many natural negative consequences, I decided to change.

During my recovery, I discovered the source of my addiction was a multitude of factors, such has low self-esteem, social anxiety, and a personality trait that craves adventure. Nowhere, did I find my parents as a part of my addiction. Unless a parent is forcing a child to drink or do drugs, it is simply irrational to believe a parent has enough control to be responsible for a child’s addiction. If a parent was responsible for their child’s addiction then a parent would also be able to stop their child’s addiction.

-Chad Hepler works as an addiction counselor at an adolescent treatment center. He has published two books about his recovery, titled, Intervention: Anything But My Own Skin, and Beyond Intervention: A Memoir of Addiction and Recovery by Hepler, Chad (2012) Paperback.

Effective anti-drug drives focus on roots, not killing addicts |

There are some new studies out (read below video) that say if you teach parenting skills even to addicted mothers and if nurses visit these addicted mothers, their children have a less likely chance of abusing drugs themselves. It would be nice believe that we can teach addicted mothers how to take care of their kids--I haven't really seen that in my work, but maybe I am missing something. Most of the time addicted mothers just seem to get worse--I'd like to meet these counselors who are making this happen. Often, it is not so much the counseling or parenting skills that make the difference but the connection between the the helper and the helpee that really makes a difference. As a society, we keep trying to improve and I have to love us for that even if we get it wrong so many times before we get it right. If frequent contact with addicted mothers does in fact help their kids, good for us who keep trying. but i suspect that actually it is the skills of the ones working with the addicted moms rather than really teaching them much.

Effective anti-drug drives focus on roots, not killing addicts | Inquirer Global Nation: "Studies reported in the Journal of Child Abuse and Neglect (2012) and Pediatrics (2008) reveal that intervention at the family level can have significant impact if it starts as early as during pregnancy and early infancy for those with an addicted mother. Being born to addicted parents puts a child in one of the highest-risk groups for drug use, but longitudinal studies show that visits by trained nurses or social workers tasked with helping the mother deal with practical life issues (health, housing, etc.) and with parenting challenges markedly reduced drug use when the child reached adolescence. Programs that focus on teaching parenting skills not just to addicted parents, but also to the general population also proved to be effective in curbing drug use and related behavior, according to studies published in the Health Education Research (2008) and Drug and Alcohol Dependence (2007)."



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"Pharming parties" remind me of the Sties Pill parties

What goes around comes around. In the sixties we had parties tao beat all parties--we took handfuls of pills, smoked weed, drank, and dropped acid all at the same time. No wonder so many of us jumped out windows and such! No laughing matter, we always had huge bowls filled will all kinds of colored pills. Many ate them like M and Ms. I used to try to pick out the yellows and reds--not sure why. I chased them down with my beer or slow gin. I am not sure why I am still here. Maybe to pass on messages.

Anyway, yes, the kids need to be taught about prescriptions--but they are still going to experiment. Can we stop it? Not really--but we can model good behavior, make sure they know we don't approve and that it is dangerous and hope they make it to adulthood like I did!

"Pharming parties" put teenagers at risk for prescription drug abuse: "According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, prescription and over-the-counter drugs are the most commonly abused substances by Americans age 14 and older, after marijuana and alcohol. Eden said, "Parents need to be aware. They need to not assume oh my child would never do that, because anybody's child could.""

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Does naloxone encourage drug use - Practical Recovery

People send me things-some relevant, some silly, some asking to promote their treatment centers--some grateful people who use Day By Day Books and love them--this morning I received an email about naloxone to help combat overdose. Many believe that making this widely available will contribute to careless drug use because addicts will feel they have a way out--I'm not sure.

Do addicts really plan that far ahead? I know I didn't. I never sat and said to myself, "I think I can use more of this drug because my friends are here who will surely get me to the hospital." I never thought of the consequences, THAT was part of my addiction. Is naloxone a good thing? I am inclined to say yes. Below is a link to an entire guideline about the use of this safety drug.

Naloxone: Everything You Need to Know - Practical Recovery: "Does naloxone encourage drug use? The argument that access to naloxone increases or encourages drug use has yet to be proven. The thought is that naloxone instills a false sense of safety and encourages users to push past “safe” levels of use. Furthermore, some argue that providing an antidote sends the message that drug use is socially acceptable. As one scientific article points out, these arguments have no research to back them up, and to limit access to a life-saving drug based on unfounded theories is just plain unethical. Do you or someone you know need help with an opiate addiction? Detox, followed by inpatient or outpatient treatment can provide a great foundation for recovery."



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Jenelle Evans' custody battle just took a turn we didn't see coming

I feel so sorry for these celebrities in their addiction--they can  run but there is nowhere to hide!!!! I have a real soft spot in my heart for Jenelle because she posted a picture of Day By Day on her FB page and said it was the best way to wake up in the morning for recovery--I hope to God she is not back on heroin. But Jenelle--if you are and go back to recovery, let me send the followup book to Day By Day, the Pocket Sponsor--You'll love it!  And my best to you. Read about her custody struggles here and her husband's accusations.

Jenelle Evans' custody battle just took a turn we didn't see coming: "If you aren't already aware, Evans' past drug use has been a major point of contention for Griffith during the show and their court proceedings, with Griffith accusing Evans of being back on heroin and Evans insisting she was totally clean. The result of that was an agreement that both of them decided to submit to drug tests to finalize their custody arrangements."



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Parents as First Responders in Adolescent Substance Use | Youth Today

What is a First Responder? According to the National First Responders Organization, "A First Responder is any individual who runs toward an event rather than away." and you know what Mom and Dad--when your kid is in trouble, that is YOU. While everyone else is trying to figure out how to rid themselves of this drug addict kid, you are right in the middle of it. This is a great article on Parents as first repsonders with their kids--worth reading.

Parents as First Responders in Adolescent Substance Use | Youth Today: "Studies show that 90 percent of people with substance use disorders began using during their teen years when the brain is still developing, so taking action is important regardless of the level of use. While the most recent survey from Monitoring the Future, an ongoing study of U.S. high school students, shows a decline in teens’ use of alcohol, it still shows that two in every five high-school seniors have consumed alcohol in the past year, with one in every six teens engaged in binge drinking (more than five drinks in a row) once or more often in a two-week period. One in every 17 high school seniors smokes marijuana daily, with a majority of seniors reporting that they see no harm in regular marijuana use."



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