Good parents are not perfect parents and there are things you can do to help your adult child addict. I read these 7 suggestions and I love them! If you are dealing with addiction and an adult child--please read this article. It is worth your time! Takes 4 minutes.
7 Tips for Mothers of Adult Addicts | Psychology Today: "Depending on how far from your personal measure of “good” your child falls, your personal level of anger and shame may vary. Some parents resort to hot anger and recriminations of “I didn’t raise you to be like this!” Other parents fall into a trap of accepting the blame that some misbehaving adult children want to place on them. Some parents may be bled dry by meeting the financial assistance pleas/demands from children who are habitually showing up in the judicial system and need money for court/legal fees. (And they may hope, often in vain, that the money goes to the stated purpose rather than buying their child more trouble). Some parents carry great shame about their children’s mistakes – believing that if they had just done a better job somewhere along the line, this problem/incidence/pattern/behavior would not have appeared in their child’s life."
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7 Tips for Mothers of Adult Addicts | Psychology Today: "Depending on how far from your personal measure of “good” your child falls, your personal level of anger and shame may vary. Some parents resort to hot anger and recriminations of “I didn’t raise you to be like this!” Other parents fall into a trap of accepting the blame that some misbehaving adult children want to place on them. Some parents may be bled dry by meeting the financial assistance pleas/demands from children who are habitually showing up in the judicial system and need money for court/legal fees. (And they may hope, often in vain, that the money goes to the stated purpose rather than buying their child more trouble). Some parents carry great shame about their children’s mistakes – believing that if they had just done a better job somewhere along the line, this problem/incidence/pattern/behavior would not have appeared in their child’s life."
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It's about time parents got a break. I raised my daughter as a single mom and everyone blamed me for everything. I did not cause my daughter to drink and I certainly tried to help--but with others telling me my parenting was the problem she never had a reason to look at her own choices.
ReplyDeleteMy son is still living at hom in his 30s. I want so much to tel lhim to get out on his own--he is sober for a few months and then "slips." I take him to NA and AA--he works washing dishes and does fine for a while and then always gets back out again on alcohol or cough sryup. So I know I should probably kick himout but if he dies I woudl never forgive myslef. I don't know what to do. As a parent, I guess I will always be there for him.
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